Stage 4 Endo, still I wait…..

It is almost 12 months since my original surgery to have a hysterectomy was abandoned due to Stage 4 endometriosis in which I was advised I would be prioritised for a reschedule. I cried for 3 days solid. I would have to wait for the bowel and gyno surgeons to find time to schedule surgery and work together to dissect the bowel from the uterus then remove all my bits. I am waiting. I am still waiting. I have had continuous issues with pain when pooping, a tyre of pain around my waste, solid slithers of blood during periods, days of and months of unexplained unhappiness, shooting pains in my inner thigh, back pain, pain during sex and a sore kidney and ovaries. Pain that I relate to being a woman which I cannot rule out as being caused by my bowel pulling on my uterus when full and the endless other joys that MIGHT be from my endo. I wait. Sitting and crying in pain and maintaining a normal life screws with your mental well-being. And being at the mercy of the hospital system is my lot. Still I wait. 15 weeks ago I called the hospital scheduler to see how I was placed on “the list”. I was told I was sitting on top of the list. Yayyyy! It won’t be long. Not long to wait. 6 weeks ago I received a call from the scheduler to advise I was scheduled for surgery 15 August. I was elated, booked my leave and felt great. Two days later I received a call from the scheduler to say she had scheduled two surgeries on the day but only one should have been scheduled, she’d made a mistake assuming the bowel and gyno surgeons could do two surgeries in one day. “Becky” was “priority” and I would be cut from the surgery list. But the surgeons were applying to do four surgeries privately and I would be one of those. I will wait. I have not heard a peep from the hospital. I wait and wait with this heat pack of a tyre wrapping itself around my waist, my ovaries and my bowel. The strings of blood like the vines of a weed growing longer and longer, twisting and attaching itself back around my ovaries and bowel. Still I wait…..

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